Bffofpatrick07's Journals

UGH.

Why the hell can't I let this bastard go!!!

I should be happy for him, right? I mean, not like we were ever "together' per se.

And there's another guy I like and shit and I think there's a chance it may work out...

But goddamit, I'm stuck on him.

"I can't wait ot H.A.T.E.U make you pain like I do, still can't shake you off. I can't wait to break through these emotional changes, seems like such a lost cause. I can't wait to face you break you down so low, so theres no plae left to go. I can't wait to H.A.T.E.U..."

God, story of my life.

MEMOIRS OF AN IMPERFECT ANGEL

Heard snippets of the new Mariah album.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iT is going to be a great album :D if the dumb grammy's didnt make the grammys a friggin month earlier we would be taking home some grammy's!!!

I won't go into what the album sounds like to past ones (cause I doubt u kno) lol

SONGS TO WATCH OUT FOR:

H.A.T.E.U.

Angel's Cry

It's A Wrap

I Want To Know What Love Is

And one that is just amazing:

Languishing. ugh. it is AMAZING. Mind blowing. Best 25 seconds of my life!!

:D Ik ya'll aren't Lambs like me but hahah ITS GONNA ROCK YOUR ASSES!!

Do me one thing and just go on youtube and search for the Languishing snippet. PLEASE.!!!! OR, listen to all the snippets!!!

(The interludes are great.) :D

BEAUTIFUL!!!!

P.S. late but Congrats Nicole and Joel!! Welcome Sparrow!!!

High School

Is a dumb pirate whore bitch.

Watching Happy Feet :D

GOMUMBLE!!!

Hmmm......

Wrote something with substance the other day.

I am considering posting it. IDK.

THE TIME TRAVELERS WIFE BITCHES.

JUST GOT THE BOOK. HOT DADDY. lol I want to see this moviiee! The book is good so far but Jess is gonna kill me cause its a bit much for 14 year olds....;]

OMG. ANYONE ELSE WANNA GO SEE (500) DAYS OF SUMMER WITH ME?????

P.S. baltimore and virginia=FUCKING HOT

Learn A Wee Bit About Meeeee (stole it from Jessssssss)

Age: 14!!

Available: Hell-a yeah. haha IF YOU'RE SINGLE AND FREE CALL ME!! "all the single ladies" ok im stopping.

Animals: None. Not including Brother haha

Birthday: May 2nd. BITCHIN.

Best Friend(s): Lets see....Camille, Hannah, Erin, Clarke, Emily, NOT JESS. haha jk

Crush: Sexii Hot Tamale (STILL)

Car: As of now...we have a caddy and a acura

Color: the caddy is like navy blue and the acura is silverrrr

Dream Car: well for my first car: Honda Civic, my rich car: purple mustang!! (lol jk idk much about cars)

Eye Color: ugly doodoo brown

E-mail: noyb

Favorite Food: omg. FOOD.

Favorite Band/Artist: um...Band probably FOB and artist is uh MARIAH CAREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. :D

Fast Food: IN THIS ORDER: Burger King, McDonalds, Wendy's.

Goals: idk.

Hair Color: dark brown. almost black.

Height: 5'4" i think. mayb 5'5"

Hometown: DETROIIIIITTTTTTTTT. Reppin the D danke very much!!!

Instrument: use to play violin. wants to play guitar.

Ice Cream: Vanilla. mmmmm

Job: sitting on myootylicious booty and babysitting haha

Kids: Love em to a certain degree haha.....

Love: never been. too young.

Major: Theatre Arts

Music: EVERYTHINGGG!!! but screamo.

Movie: SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE!!! *sigh* Dev Patel lights my fire!!!

Nickname: I FINALLY HAVE ONE!! lol apparently is Chari and or Char!!! YAY!!!!

Outdoor Activity: I don't do outdoors.... but if I am walking or swimming.

One Wish: ummm....all my dreams come true!!! or finding a reasonable guy to have 5 kids with who doesn't mind me going on location for atleast 3 months haha....

Phobia: being buried alive. is that a phobia or a fear???

Quote: "AFRICA! I'VE BEEN TO AFRICA! AFRICA! I BROKE A SWEAR!" OR "I WAS STRUCK! BY LIGHTENING! AND IT REALLY HURT!" HAHAHA!!!!!! JoBros on SNL. that skit is fucking hilarious. ok seriously: "The world a stage and people mearly players"--No idea.

Restaurant: um...Bahama Breeze or Maggianos.

Season: Spring

Sport: ....i dont do sports. but Volleyball.

TV Show: ummm....any of the "I Love..." series on VH1!!

Time of Day: idk....nightfall

Thoughts: I got struck *BUMBUM* BY LIGHTENING! AND IT REALLY HURT!!!

Unknown: ummm my shoulder hurts?

Vacation Spot: um...Paris or Venice. Or Spain

Worst Habit: talking to myself

X-Ray: one. when I smashed my thumb in the car door.

X-Rated: lets not go there.

Your Mood: my shoulder hurts!! but happy and I SMELL GOOD!!

Zoo Animal: Lions!

Zodiak Sign: Taurus baby! FEAR THE BULL!!

Michael Jackson

Well I just got back into the states yesterday and I’m glad to be back :]

While I was gone I had the displeasure of learning that The King of Pop, Michael Jackson had died at only 50. I thought it was a sick joke but it was the sad truth. A legend has died and the world just became a little less amazing. The world was truly blessed to have an angel like him. He is the definition of a true artist and all artist should strive to be atleast somewhat like him. He was a humanitarian, an artist, a father but most of all, he was Human Being. And for too much of his life, we forgot that and we stopped treating him like a normal human being. He had his ups and plenty of downs but we decided alot of the time to pinpoint the downs and beat him with them. Alot of us, including me, took him for granted. We always thought he would be here and eventually we could ask him to forget all the bad things we said. But like I said, he was a human being, and all beings have to die eventually. I never really fully took into account how amazing his music was until he passed, and I wish I gave him more credit personally for being an artist. Without Michael Jackson, the world would not be how it is today. His music really did change the world. His music opened our eyes. His videos were not music videos, they were 3-5 (in his case. 5-12) minute messages. I cannot say this enough, but he wasn’t just an artist, he WAS music of his generation. He showed that you could be more than just 12 songs per album, tours and videos. He showed that with music is power, and with those 12 songs per album and tours and videos, you can change peoples perspectives. He makes me want to be better. Instead of just singing about the troubles of other people he also did his part to make their lives a little better.

I really hope that you are at peace now, Michael. Heaven just got a little more musical. Teach God how to moonwalk. You were so humble and misunderstood. You tried so hard to get people to understand, but we never really really understood. I understand now. I understand everything you tried to do with your music. You succeded in plenty of your endeavours. I certainly enjoyed ya. We are all still crying for you, and we will for a long while.

I love you. The world loves you. Your family loves you. Always remember that “you are not alone”.

Rest In Peace

[1958-2009]

Famous Last (but not really) Words

I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN ON BUZZ SINCE 1901 AND I AM SORRY. School is finally over. I was busy with that shit. And NOW. I leave on Monday for my three week trip to EUROPE. I'm sad to go cause

1.) I will miss my friends

2.) I AM GONNA MISS THE HUGE JON AND KATE ANNOUCENMENT. BULLOCKS.

Since we last talked I've grown a HUGE obsession with Dev Patel (Slumdog Millionaire you twits) and talking like a British person lol.

I DON'T WANNA GOOO!!!!

But it will be fun :]

Ugh. Don't talk to me about fanfics.

I've really gotten into oneshots though. Like, I love them now they're all I write. I just need to post some.

If you want one, tell me :]

WISH ME LUCK!

Gosh, I hope my fligh isn't another Air France....

~Love, Char ;]

Something to make you go MMMMM

GOD HE IS GORGEOOUSSS *in singsong voice btw*

lol BYE LOVESSS

Wish me luck :]

Love Never Wanted Me But I Took It Anyway--Tori's Wedddinnngggg!!!

Jeez, the last time I posted anything fanfic related I was still 13!! lol weird. anywahoo I should have finished this months ago but u know I can be lazzyyy :p

“This is really happening…right?” I asked Jess while she curled my hair.

“Mhmm. You are about to become Mrs. Brendon Urie!” I squealed. “I’m getting married!”

“If this happened a year ago Jess would be killing herself right now!” Charie snickered.

“Fuck you Charie.”

“Hey! Language please.” She pointed to the carrier strapped to her chest where Peyton was sleeping. She has gotten so big these past four months!

“Charie why do you even bother? Your kid has heard more swear words then Bronx.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Pretty close. My kid isn’t out yet so he has a chance.” I snorted.

“Please! You and Joe are like two drunk rednecks when it comes to swearing. Baby boy has no chance.” Jess pressed the curling iron into my head making me jump. “WHAT THE FUCK JESS?” I rubbed the spot where she burned me.

“Oops! Did I do that?” She smiled an evil smile. I flipped her off. She sat down next to Charie on the couch and rested her hands on her swollen stomach. Four months to go.

“God, look at us.” Charie said. “What happened to us? A year ago we were three lonely old drunks.”

“No you were the lonely old drunk. Tori was the lonely one. I was the old one. And barely that.”

“Fuck you.”

“I thought we were watching our language!”

“Whatever. Anyway! Now we’re all getting married and having kids. Its just…funny.”

“Yeah it is.”

“I’m hungry.”

“I’m sure you are Shamoo.” Charie was officially pissed. Patrick walked in.

“Its called knocking Patrick!”

“Um…sorry. Should I…”

“No, we’re just messing with you.”

“Tori, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“Brendon is freaking out.”

“He doesn’t do well with high pressure situations.” I laughed to myself. I love that about him. “He doesn’t have cold feet does he?” My heart picked up speed at the thought.

“No, no. He’s just nervous. He doesn’t want to fuck up his vows or anything.”

“STOP SWEARING IN FRONT OF THE BABY!” Charie screamed. Peyton yawned and opened her eyes.

“Sorry!”

“Jesus Patrick, she’s your baby!”

“We’re in a church!”

“Whatever!”

“Charie, we don’t know that.” Jess snickered. I tried really hard to hold it in, but I laughed.

“Fuck all of you.” Patrick wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her head.

“Anyway, don’t worry Tori once he sees you all his worries will disappear.” My heart went back to normal. Patrick always knew how to make you feel better. He whispered something to Charie making her giggle. She nodded her head and kissed him. He waved at us then walked out.

“Why don’t you marry the bastard already?” Jess asked eating a cookie. Where the hell did that cookie come from?

“Shut up.” It was ridiculous they weren’t married yet. They were in love and they have a kid together. Charie and her trust issues. She checked her watch. “Its six-thirty. Tori, you’re getting married in thirty minutes!” There was no doubt in my mind that I was ready for this. I knew I was going to marry Brendon after the first time we met. “Any cold feet?”

“Actually…no. I’m ready for this. I’ve been waiting my entire life for this.” I checked myself in the mirror. Jess curled my hair perfectly, well besides burning me. I did my make-up (can’t trust those two), pink eye shadow and peach lipstick. I managed to take it easy on the eyeliner (I get a little crazy sometimes). My white dress had small sequins and beads, making it sparkle in the light. It stuck to my body not too tight, but tight enough to show off my chest and butt juuusst right.

“The wedding is going to be perfect.”

“Umm…Tori?”

“Yeah?” Charie had a worried look on her face.

“Uh…Jasmine is here. She wants to see you…” Jasmine? What the hell was she doing here?

“Um…okay.” Jess pushed herself off the couch.

“I love a good fight, but this is not gonna end well and I don’t want to be in the middle of it with baby on board!” She hobbled over to Charie.

“Protect the baby!” Charie said taking Peyton out the carrier and on her hip. Jasmine walked in the room with a box wrapped in white gift wrap and a gold bow. She walked over and hugged me.

“Hi!”

“Um…hi?” Peyton started to cry.

“Sorry. I’ll take her. Have fun you two!” Charie said as she walked out the room with Jess trailing behind.

“So…what are you doing here?”

“Brendon didn’t tell you? He invited me.” No, he did not tell me.

“Oh right! I…forgot.”

“He was invited to mine so of course I was invited to his. Congratulations. I’m really happy for both of you.”

“Thanks.” We stood there in awkward silence for awhile.

“Tori?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you don’t like me much but I just want to say thank you.”

“For what?”

“For telling Will where I was. If…if you hadn’t told him I don’t know what I would have done with Brendon.” I really don’t want to hear this when I’m getting married in fifteen minutes.

“Your welcome. I guess.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to steal the groom or anything!” That could have been funny if it hadn’t happened before.

“This is awkward, isn’t it?”

“Ya think?”

“I’m sorry. I…I just wanted to fix things. We didn’t exactly say goodbye on happy terms. I feel so bad for what happened.”

“Its okay. All that matters is that Brendon and I are here now. We made it through.”

“I’m so happy you guys did.” She smiled and I smiled back. I hugged her tight.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For bringing Brendon and I closer. We really learned a lot about each other after you left. We might not be here if it weren’t for you. Thank you.”

***

“This is it!” Charie squealed. She squeezed my hand tight. “Go get him.” She walked into the chapel leaving me with my thoughts.

“This is it Tori. Everything is about to change. No going back.” I don’t plan on it. I walked down the aisle, not one negative thought going in my head. Brendon was jumpy and sweaty which I loved. I couldn’t help but laugh a little. When I got to the altar, his shaking hands took mine. I squeezed. The preacher started but I wasn’t paying attention. I was distracted by Brendon’s shaking. And was that…Jack Daniels I smell?

“Brendon, were you drinking?” I whispered.

“A little.” I looked into the sea of guest and found Mark with a small smile on his face. I should have known.

“Who would like to recite their vows first?” The priest asked us with a cheerful smile. Brendon raised his hand like an idiot.

“I do! I do!” Everyone laughed.

“We aren’t that far yet!”

“Ignore him. I’m going first.” He put his hand down. “Brendon, baby I love you. I love you so, so much. You have no idea! The moment I saw you I knew I wanted you. No, I knew that I needed you. We have gone through things that no couple should have to but we made it through. I know you are freaking out right now, but all you have to remember is that I am marrying you. I love you.” I squeezed his hand and he smiled.

“Brendon, your vows.”

“Tori, I’m sorry. You know how nervous I get in stuff like this and you know how Mark always has booze on him. When I first saw you I was confused. You made my head get fuzzy and my heart skip beats. You were so beautiful. And I loved how you did anything and everything to hunt me down! We have both messed up but we always found a way to forgive. I have loved girls before but I have never been in love with someone. Not until I met you.”

I wiped away my tears and smiled. I slipped his silver band onto his finger and he did the same. Both had 12608 engraved on the inside. The day we first met.

“You may now kiss the bride.” Brendon pulled me into him and I kissed his lips. Best kiss of my life. He picked me up and spun me around, our lips not parting for a second.

***

“I would like to make a toast!” Mark jumped on his chair and raised his champagne flute in the air.

“Oh god…” I said to myself. Charie laughed. Jess was to busy eating to notice.

“Tori! My…lil sis. All grown up!”

“Mark get down!” I hissed at him. He jumped down and stumbled over to the stage.

“Hey! Play White Wedding!” He whispered loudly to the band. I slammed my head on the table. Brendon was rubbing my back gently. I love my husband.

“HEY LITTLE SISTER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!” Mark sang obnoxiously. Charie was laughing so hard. If she didn’t have a baby strapped to her I would beat her. “HEY LITTLE SISTER SHOTGUN!”

“YEAH!” Charie screamed. God, she was so wasted. Patrick took the champagne flute from her hand and whispered something to her. “NO! I AM NOT DRUNK!” He placed the flute on the table next to three empty ones and took Peyton from her carrier and sat her in his lap. He kissed her head while she sucked her fingers.

“IT’S A NICE DAY TO START AGAIN! IT’S A NICE DAY FOR A WHITE WEDDING!” God, could someone please make him shut up?! I looked over at Jess. She had her head rested on Joe’s shoulder and he had his hand resting on her stomach. She kissed his jaw. He smiled and kissed her lips.

“What are you looking at?” Brendon whispered to me.

“Cause its not your brother anymore.” I had forgotten all about him. Looking at Charie and Jess…they had everything I wanted. The lovey-dovey married life; The beautiful children. All of that would be mine soon.

“Our future.” I grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed it.

“And what would that be?” He asked with a mischievous smile.

“Just you and me.” My brother switched the song to Thriller and Ryan was attempting to tear the microphone from his hands. “Is that all you see?”

“No. There is so much more.” I squeezed his hand again. He leaned in and kissed me softly.

“I love you.”

“And I love you.”

THE STORY OF BEST FRIENDS AND A SLUMDOG...

Gah!!!

so my friends came over for a little "suarey" *sp?* for my bday. we just ung out and had pizza and cake and other yummy comfort fooodddssss!!! it was fun. Another reminder of why I love my friends so DAMN much!!!

NOW. onto the more important thinggg.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Best movie I have seen. Period.

If you have not seen it, GO SEE IT. GET TO THE TARGET, BLOCKBUSTER, NETFLIX WHAT EVER. The movie is incredible on sooo many levels. I will review on another day when its not 1 A.M. "and I still can't sleep." *lol lyrics*

If u have seen SLUMDOG talk to mah. tell me what u thought of ittt :]